Be the Change You Want to See in the World

Therapy has taught me so many things. I have learned so much about myself in the past 4 years, and I've changed whole-heartedly for the better. Before I was 30, I used some very unhealthy coping mechanisms just to put one foot in front of the other. I was disconnected from my emotional intelligence, I never listened to my gut. Because I was so disengaged from my emotional intelligence, I didn't understand people. I didn't understand why they behaved the way they did, why they made decisions the way they did, or what made them tick. Looking back, I was a 30 year old child wandering the world, completely in the dark about the true nature of people.

Greek Pizza

Happy Friday all!

I really did try to blog yesterday, to ensure I got my normal 3-a-week in. However, yesterday was a morning (or rather afternoon) that I got one of those steroid shots in my back. And I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight before the procedure. That includes coffee. 

So I sat down to write yesterday and was heartily displeased to see all the existential, angsty sentences that my caffeine challenged-creativity managed to cough up. Whiny, here. Gloom and doom, there. All because Jessica's brain was without it's normal amount of coffee. Eventually, I erased everything I wrote and said, "Tomorrow then!"

Chopped Kale & Brussels Sprout Salad

-with garlic croutons, pomegranate arils, asiago cheese, fresh lemon zest, toasted almonds, and poppyseed dressing

Boy, my timing on this one is sure off, huh?

Tucked away here in my Northeastern corner of Kentucky, the weather forecasters aren't sure what we are going to get here. Right now, they think the line may be south of the Ohio River. As in, north of the river may only get 2-4 inches. Well, we live basically right on the river as we are about 3-4 miles away. We are either going to get a normal 2-4 inches or we are going to get 2 feet. Personally, I'm hoping it's only a couple of inches. The chihuahuas hate when the snow is taller than them, and I hate waddling through it all to feed the birds out back. At any rate, salad is not the name of the game for this weather.

Striking A Balance

Hello old friend!

It's been way too long since we last met!

Yesterday I decided it was time to get back on the horse. It had been a couple weeks (at least 2) since I worked out and I was starting to feel... flubber-y. It's hard to motivate yourself to workout when you have little energy to do anything.

I was a little nervous that yesterday would be painful. Instead, it felt wonderful! The minute I stepped on the elliptical and begun to shake out my under-used muscles, I went into the zone. I powered through my circuit training and felt like a million bucks.

I was reminded as I zoned out, enjoying my playlist of my favorite Nickelback songs, how much balance working out provides me. It's my time to let my mind relax. But it also reminded me how important sleeping is to feeling healthy. 2 weeks ago, when I was smack dab in the middle of insomnia, I was struggling to make it through a 15-minute cardio circuit. Not the case yesterday, as I easily made it through 3 15-minute cardio circuits.

Then again, maybe it was the pasta salad I had for breakfast :)

After my workout, I sat down on the couch to rest for a minute and was joined by my little Mama's Boy-

This is the 2nd time I've caught that crazy tongue on camera! Such a cutie!

Update on Mrs Grumpus

www.cartoonchurch.com

Insomnia update!

I had a doctor's appointment on Saturday morning and it went... better than expected. My doctor had finally managed to get her hands on my medical records from Oregon, which show my headache troubles and my insomnia troubles for many, many years. Hence, she treated me like an actual person instead of a pill-popper looking for my next fix.

The hubby went with me to the appointment, so he pointed out she may have been nicer to me due to having some muscle in the room. Ok, dear :)

We actually had a long visit and we came up with a plan to pursue options. She also gave me some sleeping pills without me having to twist her arm and feel like an awful human being in the process. We then decided to try a medication to keep my mind from racing, which is really the trouble I have with falling asleep.

I slept very soundly on Saturday night and I have been sleeping well every night since then. And I feel fantastic! It's amazing how much of a difference a good night's sleep makes. I feel better, my headache is starting to fade, I have some energy back, and another perk... my skin is looking sooooo much better. Important discovery: You really need sleep to have a moisturized, youthful face.

Another benefit? My house is back to sparkling clean!

Last night was the first night however that I noticed a decrease in the racing thoughts. Yay! I feel like we are on the right track. Pretty soon, hopefully I will be sleeping like this:

http://thesuiteworld.com/

or maybe like a puppy...

Love that little Gizzard.

Cheers to a good night's sleep! Sleeping well also means Mrs Grumpus is going on hiatus for the time being. I can't say I am going to miss her :)

Insomnia + Jessica= Mrs Grumpus

www.cartoonstock.com

It's been a pretty tough week. I haven't gotten much sleep since last Saturday. I have been going through spurts of insomnia since July. I'll sleep good for a couple of weeks, and then have a couple where I sleep for 1-2 hours a night.

I have chronic tension headaches that are acerbated by lack of sleep, so the weeks that I don't sleep I am left with a dull, throbbing pain across my forehead that doesn't go away. The headache doesn't respond to OTC meds and if the insomnia lasts long enough, it heads straight into a migraine.

I loathe these periods of insomnia. I don't feel like myself and my whole schedule is thrown off. I don't have enough energy to work out, which makes me feel guilty. I hate feeling guilty. I also don't have enough energy to keep my house at the sparkling clean standard that I normally hold myself to, which also makes me feel guilty. Did I mention I hate feeling guilty?

I try to sleep, I really do. The thing is, I am exhausted. I want to sleep. I just can't. I found this cartoon that perfectly sums up me trying to fall asleep at night.

(You'll have to click to read, I can't make it bigger)
www.lolpups.com

And yes, I do count sheep at night.

I have a doctors appointment on Saturday morning so I will try to arm-wrestle some sleeping pills out of my doctor. Trying to get narcotics in Kentucky is comparable to trying to win the lottery- in other words, almost freakin' impossible. You basically have to sign away your life, your unborn children, and your unborn children's children to get a prescription. I am, of course, exaggerating. But just barely. And that is just to get sleeping pills. Forget trying to get something for the headache.

All right, I will groggily climb down off my ranting soap box and go find something else to do.

Mrs Grumpus is signing out.