The Scourge of the Earth

It all started on Monday.

I was seated at the bar in my kitchen, filling out paperwork for about 20 minutes. When I stood up, my back felt a little tight. I thought I just needed to stretch because I had been sitting in an uncomfortable chair for too long. But the tightness never went away. My back just continued to get more sore as the day went on.

I thought a good night's sleep would take care of it. Instead, my back was even more sore the next morning. I was taking it easy, resting a lot, minding my own business when something dive-bombed my head and buzzed up to the ceiling.

It was a wasp! I will admit, profanities poured out of my mouth. I am incredibly and irrationally scared of bees. I can't even get close enough to the things to kill them. However, it was 1:00 pm and the hubby wouldn't be home till 7. I had to suck it up and try to kill the epitome of evil flying through my house.

I armed myself with a can of hairspray (I read on the internet if you spray them with hairspray, their wings stick to their body, they can't fly, and then you can crush them) and a very heavy cookbook. Not wanting to spray hairspray all over the house, I followed it and tried to wait until it landed on something.

This went on for 3 hours, I am not even kidding you. At 4 o-clock, after taking a couple of swings with the cookbook, one swing tweaked my back. My back immediately began to start spasming. I was forced to retreat to the bedroom with the dogs and lay on the bed in the fetal position, cursing that wasp the whole time. I finally had to accept defeat. I called my mother-in-law and asked her to come take me to urgent care because of the spasms. Thankfully, she said she'd be over right away.

Well, the spasms passed and by the time my MIL got to my house, I was able to get up off the bed. We decided not to go to urgent care unless the spasms returned, but I asked her to stay in case they did return. She also vanquished the wasp.

I cannot believe this bee got the best of me. And that I injured my back chasing a bee. And that when people ask I have to tell them I injured my back chasing a bee for 3 hours. Wasp-1, Jessica-0. No, wait...The score is Wasp-0 (it did die after all), Jessica-0, Joyce-1. Thank goodness for mother's-in-law.